When we were kids, it was easy to hang out with other kids as we jumped right in to play, parents and caretakers in tow saying, “Be nice.” Now that we’re adults, we become the manifestation of our life experiences, made complicated by our own doing at times and unraveling at the seams some of the time, and relate to other people much differently. We carry with us our preconceptions and expectations of others based on our circumstances.
We normally have something in mind when we think of approaching another person but stop short of actually taking the first step. When we get lost in the city or on the road, why are we so bad at stopping and asking for directions? What is it with men and asking for directions? Is it because of our pride and instinct to be in control at all times that we clam up next to a total stranger? Is it so uncool to admit to being lost or are we so much in denial that we’d rather go around in circles indefinitely?
We arm ourselves with all sorts of gadgets and data plans before stepping out of the house to make sure that we’re always on track. We buy the top of the line cars equipped with built-in GPS devices to navigate us around. We buy the latest smartphones and apps that can do all that, except driving us to our destination, unfortunately.
Why do we feel so embarrassed when we lose our way? We think we’re so evolved and self-sufficient in every way that these things never happen to us anymore in public. When we do get lost, we struggle with the thought of interrupting someone within arm’s reach, another person who just might be able to tell us how to get there. And all we need to do is ask.
What if the stranger tells me to take a hike because I’m stupid enough to get lost? What if he doesn’t speak English? What if…?
All sorts of barriers from conflict to rejection cross our minds, blaming ourselves further for getting lost in the first place and digging ourselves deeper into our own perceived humiliation, believing in it so much in our minds that it becomes our reality. We spend so much time getting lost, we never really get to arrive at our destination.
Oh, stop the incessant overthinking already and ask for directions, nicely! The stranger not two feet away from you just might be able to help you.
Reaching out to other people on the social web is no different. The tone of our language in writing can evoke a powerful force of persuasion to invite other people to come to know us, or reject us, for that matter. It is this fear of rejection that holds us back, holing us up and incapacitating our first hello.
That’s right, just like picking up the phone when it rings and saying, “Hello,” while the other party acknowledges you and says, “Hello,” then makes their intention known.
You can get past your fear and start a real conversation on the social web!
Making social media work for my intentions
While looking for my next career opportunity, I have begun to build my professional network by inviting other professionals to enrich my network on LinkedIn. By reviewing other member profiles, I have discovered many things in common with hundreds of them. Finding familiar grounds of expertise and deferring humbly to the generosity of esteemed mentors on theirs, I have found the confidence to reaching out and making my intentions known for a potential connection.
“Where there is passion there are relationships. How one paves the way for clarity of intentions shows one’s true character in the context of others.”
All it took was a little bit of practice on my language and courage to ask for a little bit of acceptance – the right words put together for a convincing read, hoping that many will pause for a minute from their busy schedules and review my profile.
Many have since accepted my invitation, spawning a flurry of conversations here and there, including some talk about the weather, a most benign subject to get the conversation started. The experience has been socially uplifting, buoyed by kindness and appreciation for the community I serve with others.
Who knows, I just might find my next career from the next invite I send. That would be a great result indeed by any measure of conversion!
After all is said and done, there is no price for being nice.
How do you engage and carry a conversation with others on the social web?
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Filed under: Creative Writing, Emotional Intelligence, Internet Marketing, LinkedIn, Marketing and Advertising, Seeds of Thought, Semantic Web, SEO, Social Media
